This summer has been a season of transitions, and tomorrow begins yet another one in my life. Just when I begin to figure out which way I’m headed, God pulls me in a different direction, one that remains true to the passion and drive and longing he placed in my heart at the naive age of 12.
Tomorrow begins a new chapter, one that terrifies me, excites me. Perhaps I’m crazy and impulsive. Just maybe this is the direction my compass should have guided me long ago.
But today, the space is right. The time is right. The will is right.
Tomorrow is a transition I welcome.
And, perhaps, the terror is simply a tachometer that records the fear of losing something valuable, a dream or hope. Those two, dreams and hope, are the fuel and oil that keep me on this journey.
I’m excited. And terrified. Because this is so important to me. Once I begin, the world will see me and judge me. All my vulnerabilities will be exposed.
With God’s constant presence, this will be an amazing and achievable journey.
But if I say, “I will not mention his word
or speak anymore in his name,”
his word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot.
Jeremiah 20:9 (NIV)